Rapport

I was recounting a funny story the other day to a friend.  It was a true incident that had taken place last year on my birthday. My husband and daughter were taking me out to dinner to a fancy hotel.  I had announced to my husband that I was not carrying my purse with me. This was my indirect way of telling him not to forget his wallet!

We reached the hotel and the restaurant and were being escorted to the table, when my husband realised that he had forgotten…you guessed right – his wallet! He looked at me and I said “Well I told you I wasn’t carrying my purse, so now what?”

We spoke to the manager and explained our predicament. My husband put forward several possible solutions, PAYTM, online transfer etc. The manager could sense our discomfort and awkwardness. He told us that an online payment was fine and gave us a form to fill in.  My daughter and I were enjoying the freebies, papad and pickle. We ordered the food and waited.  My husband spent the next 15 minutes, frustratingly trying to fill out the form but there was some issue and it became quite evident that this was not going to work. At that very moment, we could see the waiters coming towards us with the food. I told them to go back and keep the food warm as there was an issue with the online transfer. I then told my daughter to eat more papad and pickle, as that could possibly be all we were going to get that evening!

My husband spoke to the manager, who then said “Sir, it’s ok. Just pay tomorrow.’ What had changed between when we first announced to him that we didn’t have any cash or cards on us, and now? We had built a rapport! The manager could gauge that we were honest and felt awkward with the entire situation and that we would pay him the next day (in fact my husband transferred the amount as soon as he got home).

We have been back a few times and the manager always gives us the best service and a complimentary cake! His great attitude is what has brought us back several times.  Ultimately how someone makes you feel is what you remember, and this manager made us feel special – what great customer service!

Building rapport is the first step to building a connection with someone. But there are so many times when rapport is not built. We feel awkward, shy or hesitant. What we perceive is what we project. Any negative emotion, such as arrogance, dishonesty, are immediately projected to our audience. And vice versa, positive emotions  are also projected. The manager could read us via our body language and words and tone. There was congruency. Having a great rapport with your audience is key if you want to live a life of abundance.

This sounds so obvious but most people, in all walks of life, professionally and on a personal level,  don’t get this simple truth or if they do, they can’t be bothered to invest the time needed to build rapport.   They don’t see the big picture. Some do see the big picture, but self limiting beliefs such as ‘They may not respond positively if I speak’, or ‘There’s no point, I won’t  gain anything by it’, holds them back. These beliefs, especially the first one, are present with almost all my clients when they first come to me.

Building rapport is a must. We thrive on emotions and having  a connect with people. Once you  have built rapport, then trust is established. Once trust is established, then your audience is more likely to do business with you, again and again and again. Even with your colleagues, boss, employees, friends, family,  if you have built strong rapport then they are more likely to be open to what you have to say and to listening. Having good rapport brings a sense of belonging, a basic human need, and with it comes a  lot of goodwill!

Invest time and effort in building good rapport with those around you. It will make your world that much better and more fulfilling!